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Court of law

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers journal, the following questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys:

Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep he doesn't know about it until the next morning ?

The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he ?

Were you present when your picture was taken ?

Did he kill you ?

How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision ?

You were there until the time you left, is that true ?

How many times have you committed suicide ?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement ?
A: Yes
Q: And these stairs, did they also go up ?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney ?
A: No, this is how I dress to go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people ?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay ? What school did you go to?
A: Oral

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body ?
A: The autopsy started around 8.30 pm.
Q: And Mr Dennington was dead at the time ?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy

Q: Doctor, before you performed an autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No
Q: Did you check for blood pressure ?
A: No
Q: Did you check for breathing ?
A: No
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy ?
A: No
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor ?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have been still alive nevertheless ?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

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