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Ebonics meets Windows98

Compton City Schools has announced that its special Ebonics version of Windows 98, Retitled "Dis Be a Fresh Window" has been leaked to several white suburbs, causing confusion for unsuspecting Caucasian users.

There are numerous differences between Windows 98 and the Ebonics version. When opening the Ebonics version, the familiar Windows chime is replaced with a "phat getto track that melts 'em down wit dope-ass bass."

The opening screen features a Windows logo that is spray painted on a brick wall-along with several gangsta signs, slogans and shout outs.

On the main screen, My Computer is replaced with "Dis My Shit." The Recycle Bin has been replaced with a Goodwill dumpster, and the Internet Explorer shortcut reads, "Tittie & Booty Sites."

If users are logged on to a network, the Network Neighborhood is replaced with "Da Hood."

Users have their choice of three animated screen savers

"Marquee," a lil' G spray-painting dirty words that move across the screen; "Mystify," a 15-year-old crack whore giving birth to 12 children on screen, or "Flying Bullets," a '64 Olds loaded with gangstas doing a desktop drive by.

Users of the Ebonics version will notice several command and dialog box changes

Break Back In = Reentry
Aww Shit, Nigga = Error
U Betta Recognize = No
Itz All Good = OK
4 Real Doe = Yes
Hold Up, Dawg = Cancel
Do Dat Shit Again = Reset
Nigga, R U Crazy? = Are You Sure?
Hunt Dat Bitch Down = Find
Put A Cap In It = Delete
Games & Shit = Programs
Letter Shit = Documents

The Ebonics version comes standard with a special edition of Microsoft Works titled "Homie Essentials." The word-processing program greatly differs from the mainstream program.

Several functions on the title bar have been changed

Dat be Thang = File
I Be Seein' It = View
Put Sumpin In = Insert
Hook It Up = Format
Stuff I Ain't Need = Tools
Number Shit = Table
Break In = Window
What Da Fuck? = Help

Note "Stuff I Ain't Need" does not include spelling or grammar check options. Also, the familiar "AutoCorrect" has been replaced with "Keepin' It Real."

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