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Yo mamma

Yo momma SO FAT,

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo momma so fat we're in her right now
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo momma so fat she was in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world
Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo momma so fat I had to take a train to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo momma so fat that her senior picture had to be arial view!
Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get
up.
Yo momma so fat she influences the tides.
Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the

other side just to get her through
Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have

to install speed bumps.
Yo momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land

on her back!
Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist

they spelled out boulevard.
Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and

tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the
bike
across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.
Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts
Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons
Yo momma so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her
Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with

sandals!!!
Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the

fuck off!!!
Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!
Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development

=-> SO STUPID,
Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo momma so stupid it took her half an hour to make minute rice
Yo momma so stupid she threw a brick at the floor and missed
Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she

went home and got 16 friends
Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her
mind
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F

and sometimes weekends too!!!
Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 6 train, she took the 3 twice.

Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper
Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said

"Disneyworld Left" so she went home.
Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said

"guess" so she said levi's
Yo momma so stupid she called information to get the number for 411 ...
... and when the operator said "Hold one minute", the b*tch counted to
60 and hung up!!!

=-> SO UGLY,
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no

professionals."
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!"

and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they

put it around her neck
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence

cameras
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs

to play with her.
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .

for a quote!
Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma so ugly Ted Danson wouldn't date her!
Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to

bury her.
Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he

doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo momma so ugly your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather

kiss her ass
Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow
Yo momma so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water

=-> SO OLD,
Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!
Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang

=-> SO POOR,
Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's
fingers
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo momma so poor she wave around a popsicle stick and calls it air
conditioning
Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money

=-> SO DARK,
Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!
Yo momma so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
Yo momma so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to

keep from eating her fingers.
Yo momma so dark when people refer to Darkness comming in the future they

refer to her next visit.
Yo momma so dark they made a movie of her heart transplant called "From the

darkest heart of Africa"

=-> SO DIRTY,
Yo momma so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.

=-> SO SHORT,
Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo momma so short she can play handball on the curb.
Yo momma so short she does backflips under the bed.
Yo momma so short she models for trophys.
Yo momma so short she pole vaults with a toothpick
Yo momma so short she has to look down to look up

=-> SO NASTY,
Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut

her hair and she opened up her shirt
Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs
fresh!
Yo momma so nasty she made Speed Stick slow down.
Yo momma so nasty she made Right Guard turn left.
Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave
Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo momma so nasty she made Sure confused.
Yo momma so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape.
Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear

infection.
Yo momma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea
Yo momma so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease

and Yo momma

=-> IS LIKE,
Yo momma like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay
Yo momma like a library - open to the public
Yo momma like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
Yo momma like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
Yo momma like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!
Yo momma like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Yo momma like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
Yo momma like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
Yo momma like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!
Yo momma like a ketchup bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
Yo momma like a shotgun: one cock and she blows!
Yo momma like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
Yo momma like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
Yo momma like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Yo momma like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
Yo momma like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in

the gutter.
Yo momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
Yo momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
Yo momma like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
Yo momma like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Yo momma like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
Yo momma like a potatoe chip seller on 42nd street, "LAYS! LAYS!..."

=-> SO HAIRY,
Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
Yo momma so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro!
Yo momma so hairy she shaves with a weedwhacker

=-> SO SLUTTY,
Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!
Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her

nice belt!
Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line

behind me had the correct change.
Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought

she was getting it three times.
Yo momma so slutty she blind and seeing another man.
Yo momma so slutty John Holmes just looked at her and got AIDS
Yo momma so slutty she is known as Homecomming Disease
Yo momma so slutty she has Trojan written on her gumline.

=-> SO GREASY,
Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!
Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco!

=-> TEETH SO YELLOW,
Yo momma teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
Yo momma teeth are so yellow she spits butter!
Yo momma teeth are so yellow I can't believe its not butter

=-> SO LAZY,
Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two

jobs.

=-> SO SKINNY,
Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
Yo momma so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

=-> SO BALD,
Yo momma so bald you can see what's on her mind
Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

=-> SO TALL,
Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall!

=-> GLASSES SO THICK,
Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see

people waving.
Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

=-> HAS,
Yo momma has one leg and a bicycle.
Yo momma has one hand and a Clapper.
Yo momma has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
Yo momma has green hair and thinks she's a tree.
Yo momma has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
Yo momma has 10 fingers--all on the same hand.
Yo momma has a glass eye with a fish in it.
Yo momma has a short leg and walks in circles.
Yo momma has a short arm and can't applaude.
Yo momma has no ears.... I seen the bitch trying on sunglasses
Yo momma has an ass soo big she has to shit in a dumpster

=-> HOUSE SO SMALL,
Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

=-> HOUSE SO DIRTY,
Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

=-> HEAD SO SMALL,
Yo momma head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.
Yo momma head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.

=-> MISC,
Yo momma breath so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
Yo momma teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Yo momma hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.
Yo momma so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.
Yo momma so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
Yo momma twice the man you are.
Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.
Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Yo momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
Yo momma middle name is Rambo.
Yo momma in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more."
Yo momma grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.
Yo momma is in a wheelchair screaming "I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS SHIT"
Yo momma threw a frizbee three weeks ago that hasn't landed yet.
Yo momma referees bar fights without a shirt on.
If my dog had a face as ugly as your momma's, I'd shave his ass and make him

walk backwards.
It took yo momma 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used
to
the front seat!
Yo daddy is like cement, it takes him two days to get hard.

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