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Here's a quick quiz for the Gentlemen...

  1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
    a) Lovemaking
    b) Screwing
    c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
  2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
    a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
    b) Your blood-test results
    c) Five tequila slammers
  3. You time your orgasm so that:
    a) Your partner climaxes first
    b) You both climax simultaneously
    c) You don't miss Grandstand
  4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
    a) Healthy, creative love-play
    b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
    c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
  5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
    a) The best part of the experience
    b) The second best part of the experience
    c) $100 extra
  6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
    a) No concern of yours
    b) Not a problem - she can join your gym
    c) A conservative estimate
  7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
    a) A myth
    b) An oxymoron
    c) A moron
  8. Foreplay is to sex as:
    a) Appetiser is to entree
    b) Priming is to painting
    c) A queue is to an amusement park ride
  9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
    a) "I hope we can still be friends."
    b) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."
    c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."
  10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
    b) Is uptight and a waste of time
    c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man. If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused. If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking.

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