Stupid men jokes
- What do you call a man with half a brain?
- What's the difference between government bonds and men?
- What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
- What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
- Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
- Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
- I went to the County Fair. They had one of those "Believe it
or not?" shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain!
- What do you have whan you have two little balls in your
A man's undivided attention.
- What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.
- How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many
inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
- Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
- What do you call an intelligent man in America?
- Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
- If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convienience stores and drive-through windows.
- Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the
person who makes all their decisions.
- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive,caring, and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.
- Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the
He had it bronzed.
- Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.
- How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
- What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
- Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
- What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
- How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off
and shake the stove.
- What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
- How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
- Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in
- Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
- Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
- Two guys were strolling down the street when one guy
exclaimed, "how sad -a dead bird." The other man looked
up and said, "where?"
- Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.