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Drinks analysis

Seven bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks with umbrella
Personality: Flaky, annoying; ditzy, and a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks - no umbrellas
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask )
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Drink: Smirnoff Ice
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated, actually has absolutely no clue.
Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk ...and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male drink analysis.... The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut.

Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whisky: He doesn't give two sh*ts about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Tequila: P*ss off, all you w**kers, I'm gonna go shag something with a pulse.

Smirnoff Ice: He's gay.

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