hardy folk50 degrees: New Yorkers turn on the heat. People in Scotland plant gardens.
40 degrees: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Scotland sunbathe.
35 degrees: Italian cars won't start. People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
20 degrees: Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees: Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Scotland go swimming.
Zero degrees: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Scotland have the last bbq before it gets cold.
10 degrees below zero: People in Miami cease to exist. People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
20 degrees below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
80 degrees below zero: Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
100 degrees below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.
173 degrees below zero: Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
297 degrees below zero: Microbial life start to disappear. Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 degrees below zero: ALL atomic motion stops. People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you caal an ah?"
500 degrees below zero: Hell freezes over. English commentators watch an international football match without crowing about 1966.