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Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and Princess Diana are outside the Pearly Gates trying to get in & pleading their case to St Peter.

Freddie says "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made some mistakes along the way,but I've made some of the most beautiful music in the world.  I'll stand at the back of heaven, and serenade everybody with my wondrous songs, making heaven a far happier place to be."

"Pretty good, Fred," said St Peter, "What about you Gianni?"

Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I'll completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels to the cherubs to the choirboys. As you well know Pete, if you look good you will feel good and that will make heaven a much happier place." "Not bad" says St Peter. "What about you Di?"

Diana doesn't say a word, instead she lifts up her skirt, pulls down her knickers, inserts a full bottle of Evian water up her arse, lets the water shoot up inside her and then gush out all over the floor. "Excellent, you're in!"says St Peter.

"Hold on a fu*king minute!" says Freddie, "She didn't even say anything!"

"Bollocks, Fred - you know the rules," says St Peter, "A royal flush beats a pair of queens every time..."

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