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Postman Pat

Postman Pat is retiring after 30 years of service and embarks on his final post round. At the first house he calls at, he is given shopping vouchers to the value of #500. Very nice, so touching and how very sorry they were to see him go, etc etc. At the 2nd house, the same sentiments were expressed, the present this time being a bottle of single malt whiskey, very sad after all these years etc etc. At the 3rd house, the people again are in tears that dear old Postman Pat is retiring and he receives a very expensive box of Cuban cigars. Same sentiment, so sad after all these years etc etc. At the 3rd house, a blonde with very little on drags him inside, hauls him upstairs and makes very very passionate love to Postman Pat. Some time later a somewhat shattered Postman Pat goes downstairs where the blonde has laid on a very impressive breakfast. She pours him a cup of coffee and Postman Pat notices a #5 note on the bottom of the cup. "What's this?" he asks. The blonde says: "I told my husband that you were retiring and he said "F**k him, give him a fiver", but the breakfast was my idea"

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