The New Viz Profanisaurus 2000Air Buffet:
A lingering gaseous meal, larger than an air biscuit.
Particularly energetic wank.
Tenacious well knotted winnit that cannot be removed without bringing 8 spindly hairs with it.
Audition the finger puppets:
A single-act, one man show not suitable for children.
Autograph the gusset:
To allow the turtles head to sign the inside of your underpants.
External female genitalia.
The type of turd that sends a splash of water onto your undercarriage after release from the bomb bay.
A luxuriant crop of clagnuts.
A container into which sausages are put.
Rhyming slang, female contraceptive.
A particularly hairy minge.
"Double gut" effect caused by too tight a belt.
The blind dirt snake:
A malodorous, legless lizard inhabiting cak canyon which migrates south every morning.
Unpleasantly scented flower which attracts flies rather than bees.
Descriptive, the female erective bit!!
A gnarled malevolent turd that jumps out behind you casting a painful spell on your ringpiece!
Acronym, "Be upstairs ready my angel" See POLO.
Acronym "Panties off, legs open!"
Abbr, "Blue veined hooligan" A six inch tall, one eyed skinhead.
Extremely large piles.
Beer goggles for the younger drinker.
One handed reading material.
One who is addicted to cockahol.
To be in a state of deep penetration.
Cough your filthy yoghurt:
Romantic expression for ejaculation.
A sock worn the morning after being used as a wank-mop.
The full strength flavour achieved after 6 hours on a dance floor in PVC trousers.
Affectionate term for an ugly fat girl.
A formidable blast from the spunk trumpet where the ladies cheeks puff out like a bullfrog's.
To have sex from behind while fiddling with the ladies left nipple with one hand and her budgies tongue with the other, a position similar to the one adopted for playing the double bass, though the sound is slightly different.
Pinch a loaf, crimp one off, have a shit!
Drown some kittens:
To drown a litter of small stools.
Eating sushi off a barber shop floor:
Feeding the pony:
One handed feeding of a lady's toothless gibbon.
To feed a lady's pony through her dung hampers.
A very ugly woman you would only chat-up after five pints.
Rusty water, diahorrea.
Abbr, Fanny like a mouses ear
Flat as a kippers dick:
Descriptive of unleavened baps.
Free the tadpoles:
To liberate the residents of ones wank tanks.
The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
Scottish fanny batter usually smeared on the face when eating a haddock pastie.
Exclm, may be uttered when seeing a large pair of breasts.
A ginger persons gorilla salad.
The little pointed bit that hangs outside your rusty sheriffs badge after you've had a Gladys.
Rhyming slang, To defecate, from Gladys Knight.
Elderly female genitalia.
Very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
Furry shellfish to be eaten when bearded clams are out of season.
Vigorous three minute bout of gladiatorial combat involving a Spam javelin.
Welly top, horses collar. Descriptive of a large vagina.
The German helmet.
Lord of the pies:
Salad dodger, barge arse, Danny Baker.
Embarrassing facial tide mark found after eating out.
Men in the rigging:
Small tagnuts found in the hairs of sailors arses.
Ming the merciless:
Death by chocolate starfish.
A bath so hot when lowering yourself in you go Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!.
The act of creeping up on your mother and shouting Rar!
Acronym, Knickers off ready when I come home
A large vagina, with heavy pink safety curtains.
Acronym, Pig In Knickers.
The condition of enhanced right arm muscle due to excessive wanking.
Quim Chin, Muff mouth:
A bearded fellow.
Release the chocolate hostage:
To liberate Richard the third.
Ripped out fireplace:
A much swept out skin chimney.
Roy Castle's last blow:
A pathetic whimpering fart.
Rhyming slang, gorilla salad.
A particularly lubricated Kipper Mitten.
Tongue Punchbag, Small man in a boat:
See Budgie's Tongue.
Someone so ugly that two bags are required, one to cover their head and one to cover yours in case theirs falls off.
Up on the blocks:
Monthly MOT failure due to recurring leak under the Beatle Bonnet.
Advisory abbr, Up the bum, No babies!
A minor operation that removes the cram but leaves the nuts intact.
Wet as an otters pocket:
Descriptive as to the moistness of a ladies kipper mitten.
The fruits of the dingleberry tree.
Unwanted visitors from Uranus.