- They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
- The Dark Ages Was Caused by the Y1K problem.
- If your voting could really change things, Congress would make it illegal.
- A fool and his money can throw one hell of a party.
- When blondes have more fun do they know it?
- Money isn't everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
- Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
- The statement below is true. The statement above is false.
- I don't have a license to kill but I do have a learners permit.
- He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
- I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
- Time is fun when you're having flies. Kermit
- Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
- Toilet stolen from Police Station. Cops have nothing to go on.
- If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven't met everybody.
- All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat though.
- If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.
- Here I am !!! What are your other two wishes?
- Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either.
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.
- Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.
- Gun Control: Use both hands.
- Remember: First you pillage then you burn.
- To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.
- If Ignorance Is Bliss, You must be Orgasmic.
- Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
- If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
- Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs.
- Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
- Half The People In The World Are Below Average
- Failure Is Not An Option. It's bundled with your software.
- Honk If You Love Peace and Quiet
- Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires.
- I'm pretty sure that sex is better than logic but I can't prove it.
- Arkansas State Motto: Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Laugh
- A picture may be worth a thousand words but it uses up a thousand times more memory
- If a thing is worth doing wouldn't it have been done already?
- If we weren't meant to eat animals why are they made of meat?
- Ham and Eggs. Just a day's work for a chicken but a lifetime commitment for a pig.